Well, why not? Should it be someone else that travels your life journey? The "Why Me?" question implies something of a defeatist attitude.
We all get down from time to time and we all think: Why me?! occasionally. Staying there can cause more problems than turning it around from "Why me?" to "Try me!" My children certainly do not like me when I turn to them and say: "try it" when they're pushing the boat out. They don't like it either when they're whining and my reaction is to "Go and try it."
There's a brilliant meme that's been hitting Facebook and I think it ties very well into answering this question.
It doesn't have to be the Devil that asks, though it is usually someone we don't like, adding more to our plate when frankly, we can do without that kind of nonsense. The boss, for example, or customers who know something is broken at five o'clock, but they've had the files and the system update for two days.
During this school holiday (which is seven weeks long!) the chances are it's going to be the kids, turning my hair more grey than usual. That's okay, they're my kids, I'm the mum, I gave them that right when they were born to do that. There are, however, boundaries.
And that is where the "Why me?" phrase comes from: when we don't or cannot apply a boundary, or say: enough already! Why do we feel like that? I think it's because we're afraid sometimes of telling the boss, No. We're not wanting to offend someone new when they're clearly not going to fit in, though it's a word that we have used on small people and because of small people from the moment that they're born. It's a word we use to keep people safe, confine them or set boundaries.
So, what can the Tarot tell us about the question, Why Me?
- If not you, then who else? ~ Three of Bows
- What else do you need to consider? ~ Queen of Vessels
- This is, Why Me? ~ Two of Stones
With my daughter's help, we have three cards for you. The first asks you: If it's not you, then who else could do this? The Three of Bows comes out to remind you that actually, you have a choice! Look at the paths here, there are three and even if The Seer is the one in the hooded robe, you're being given a choice. Don't be defeatist about it. You can choose to either do it or not. Rise to the challenge, or pick another. The Queen of Vessels comes up as the next card, reminding you that you need to be wise in your responses, determined in your results and whilst you can give in, you cannot give up. This salmon will return to her spawning grounds, she will get there and she'll swallow some hazelnuts for nourishment. She's not going to give up, but she may give in to conserve her strength when she needs it. The Two of Stones comes out to say: It's you because there's a lesson here to learn. It's about setting and enforcing boundaries (as I mentioned above) and standing your ground.
I hope you've enjoyed my little blog post this week, enjoy yourself and remember, it's not always you, sometimes it's others. Don't be defeatist and feel free to whisper back to the Devil: I Am, I Can, I Will!
I've used the Wildwood Tarot here, which Will Worthington drew. The spread and the ramblings are my own. Thanks for stopping by! Private consultations are available via my booking page.
We do sometimes look up at the sky and think: Come on, gimme a break! But when are you going to catch a break?
Sometimes, just sometimes, we need the Wheel of Luck to turn in our favour. Sometimes, just sometimes it does, but not after we've howled at the moon and asked: When am I going to get a break?!
This question has come from my Twitter feed. Being in the right situation at the right time is the luck and good fortune of others. It's not for us everyday folks, is it? The truth is, even those that seem to be blessed with good fortune for "being in the right place at the right time" have had to work at it. The situation they've struck lucky at is sometimes of their own making. Chances are, you are watching a situation unfold that they've spent weeks, if not months, manufacturing consent for. (I'm thinking politicians here, primarily but there will be others. Who else can you think that works like this? Entrepreneurs perhaps?)
So, let's look again at the question. When are you going to catch a break? The answer is likely to be: When you can manufacture its occurrence. I can hear the next question already: But how do I do that? Well, let's ask The Wildwood how you might do that.
Here are the 3 cards in their spread positions.
- 1st Card : What situation do I need to start changing? Ace of Arrows ~ The Breath of Life
- 2nd Card : What must I avoid changing? Page of Arrows ~ The Wren
- 3rd Card : What must I change to my advantage? Page of Bows ~ Stoat
The first card is the Ace of Arrows, The Breath of Life. This indicates that the situation you need to start changing is down to communications and your thoughts. If you find yourself thinking negative things then you'll start programming your mind into only working in the negative. Think positive and what you'd like to conjure up in your life. Thinking is believing, so start believing in in your own thoughts.
The second card is the Page of Arrows, The Wren. What must you avoid changing? Well, how about not taking on board someone else's manifestation and just working with your own? How about not letting the words of others cloud your actions and thoughts? How about not letting the mind monkey's loose inside your head? Though, the last one is far easier said than done!
The third and last card is the Page of Bows, The Stoat. He reminds you that everything is already to your advantage if you want it. Look who is offering you an opportunity. If you're being dour, you're not likely to know or spot that someone is offering things to you. Chin up, you've an opportunity here to shine! It's time to engage with a smile if you want to move forwards.
Start changing your attitude, don't let the mind monkey's out to play and think about what's before you. What could change for you if you engage? The break you want is either here or it's ready to be manifested.
I hope this helps you and that you've enjoyed my little spread, cards and interpretations. As always, I've used The Wildwood and to book your consultation is as easy as clicking here.
This week, I bring to you the beautiful Forest Lovers. How do you like to be loved?
Mark & John made this card by symbolic of Robin and Marion, whilst Will beautifully brought them to life. With Mark's involvement as Nasir in Robin of Sherwood for quite a few years (and if you didn't know that, you do now!) it is of no surprise that this legend shows up in the deck. However, the question is always the same, at the roots. Will you love me if I love you?
Having a great lover is like choosing an apple. We're all wanting to be loved and loving another is a part of who we are. Sometimes, we're good at it and get it right. Sometimes, we're not and we pick the wrong apple out of the barrel of life. Then we have to undo it all and return the rotten apple, which isn't always easy. Finding or becoming part of a couple of lovers isn't as straight forward as it may sound.
There's an analogy I read recently on the Book of Face about bruised apples. It was used to show children what bullying does to someone. It's the same with lovers. I explained to my 6-year-old the other night, that having a girlfriend or boyfriend at such a young age is okay. If you don't like them after a while, that's okay too. It's like trying on coats, trousers or skirts and seeing what does and doesn't fit. But when you take the clothing off (i.e. dump the other person) you should try do it gently.
The apple analogy works quite well. You don't want to bruise the other person too badly (go, find that post on the page and read it) but sometimes, you can't help but do it.
The idea for me of lovers is to yes, physically love you and you them. It's also about emotionally supporting, help provide for, encourage to help them strive to be the best they can. It's not just about the physicality of loving someone but it's all the other parts of it that surround the core to the apple to start with. Everyone has different views of what love is. We should learn how our partners think of that love and teach them what we think love is about too. Constructively, of course *winks*.
That is what I think these Forest Lovers have promised to do in their hand-fasting, shown here. It's a promise that is all the above, the core, the flesh, the pips, skin, stalk and leaves. It's a promise to teach and learn about the other. It's one I made nearly fourteen years ago and it's not been easy, being his apple (though, I doubt I've made it totally easy for him in return) but bruises, knocks and all, we're still there, hanging off each other's trees. Wouldn't have it any other way!
So, back to the original question. What is love, for you? Think about it, share it with those you love and learn what love is for them.
With that thought, I bid you a "bye for now" and remind you that I've used The Wildwood and that you can book your private consultations directly here.
This week, I address another question from my wonderful readers. Why won't they apologise?
Being sorry, saying it, acting it, isn't always easy. Sometimes, you have to utter that small, important word, to start making things right again.
Sorry, has to be one of the smallest words in the dictionary that is the hardest to say. Not the word "No". That's more powerful but far easier to say than this five letter contribution. Even my daughter had the word "no" down to pat at two years old. I went and had a little Google search for the history of this word and it seems to come from the Dutch. Typical English, it can't claim it as its own! (That's the beauty of the English language, it can absorb cool words from other languages, look up havering, as an example.)
It comes from and can highlight a lot of things; it can show that there's something wrong that needs fixing and we're not talking about a burst pipe here. The "something wrong" could be someone's feelings or their ego. It could also be that something has happened that is beyond their control and to feel empathy, the word sorry or "I apologise" is said in a heartfelt way. The word sorry (and variants) are used in so many ways, some sincerely, others not so much. It's sometimes served up as a platitude.
What do the cards say about why won't they apologise? Here's the storyboard I created for this question:
- What's stopping them?
- What do I need to avoid doing?
- What do I need to do?
What's stopping them? The Stag. When I look at this, I see a mixture of pride and a belief that they're actually right. Of course, that depends on their perspective, and there's often more than one right answer, depending where you're looking at the situation from. They don't feel they are the ones that need to offer an apology, in fact, they may believe that you'll come around to their way of thinking. Eventually.
What do I need to avoid doing? The Lynx likes to observe and listen, but it can be done in such a way that makes people uncomfortable. I feel that the advice here is to just walk away, give them time and not wait for a response or a platform to allow them to continue their train of thoughts. You may turn into a skeleton before they apologise.
What do I need to do? Be generous! Does it really matter if they say sorry? If they don't then it says more about them than you. Consider the possibility that the apology needs to be two ways, with someone offering the olive branch first. Be generous to yourself too. Not everyone has such a generous, deep heart as yours.
So my insights (late as they are) come to an end. I hope this spread is of help to you and if you see something in the cards I don't, leave a comment, I love seeing new and different perspectives! With blessings
Am I wasting my time? That's a question I'm betting you ask yourself on a regular basis.
Working on something when you don't feel appreciated, or when you're not getting feedback, can be rather discouraging.
It's also a pain when you can't or don't see the steps you've made in achieving your goal. I loved project planning and using MS Project, you can see the progression, one step at a time. In human terms, not so much. But there is a way you can see the steps you're taking. Bullet Journaling and tasking come to mind. Smaller than a regular journal, each entry is about one or two lines, at the most. I suggest you Google it.
The question came from Ellis on Twitter. "Am I wasting my time training to become a driving instructor?" he asks. This can be changed to any career or job role we're aiming for, but the spread is for you to use. The cards I drew after a good shuffle, rifle and dealing.
- What do I need to learn about this career choice?
- What is bad about this career choice?
- What is good about this career choice?
You'll notice I've sandwiched the negative between two "good" things. We tend to forget the filling of life and remember the start and end of things more. That's human nature, pure and simple, nothing more.
What do I need to learn about this career choice? The Mirror
This card hints that this was an intuitive decision. The way forward wasn't too clear. You've listened instead to your intuition, you're finding your own way. The downside is, you've no idea if you're on the right path. If you've followed your higher self then trust that you're on the right path.
What is bad about this career choice? - The Great Bear
Oh, what a fabulous answer! The bad side is that this is a challenge, it contains a step change and a shift within that needs to be faced and overcome. Acting like you are weak-willed, unsure, uncertain or creating self-doubt, can ensure that you falter and fail. The trick here is not to give into fear and to face the challenges head on because it will challenge you, which is why it could be bad. If you're not ready for it, you'll find out pretty quickly!
What is good about this career choice? The Woodward
There is something to be said for a damn good driving instructor. They can make or break someone's confidence. The Woodward here is the Wildwood's answer for Strength, he displays the inherent balance that the calm beauty of patience a driving instructor needs. He has learnt from experience how to deal with things and he's willing to pass that onto you if you're willing to learn. He knows that the power comes from within, that the Strength to pass a driving test is down to how confident you are (and also, how much of an idiot you can not be when you're dealing with an idiot driver). To keep answering that fear is not wasting your time or resources. To give up before you've finished, before the finishing line, that could be classed as wasteful.
You've chosen this career path because it spoke to you, from within. There are challenges ahead, you need to be brave enough to go for it and there is a strength to be found in a calm driving instructor, one who can guide and teach with humanity. There's no shame if it's not for you, but if it is, then you need to stop wasting your time and resources and get your game on. There's a calmness I rarely see on the roads. I wish there were more of that calmness around.
Well, I've warbled on enough for one blog post! Thank you for dropping by and I hope this gives you an idea of what to ask the Tarot when you begin to feel you're wasting your time. If you want a more in-depth reading, you can book your consultation with me. I've used The Wildwood Deck and the ramblings are 99% my own.
Until next time, stay safe!
The wise, gentle Ancestor comes out to reveal more about herself.
The Wildwood's answer to Faith / Hierophant comes out to join us. What wise angle can the Ancestor give us that we've not seen before?
The colours of the evergreen cloak may serve to hide this figure in the Wildwood in the summer, but in the depths of winter, that's not so easy to do. The deer skins may hide her, the pillars of the Silver Birch indicate that she stands at the gateway of nature that will take us out of winter.
The Bodrum that she holds beats the heartbeat of the land, the connection that comes to us and beats within us. The book indicates that this drum can be felt and that is sometimes what we feel drawn to. This Ancestor is like nature itself, the overpowering strength and patience that Nature has. Nature also has a cruel streak, just take a look at tornado and thunderstorms.
She indicates that you've made a leap and you've started a new chapter of your life. It could and can be a new volume of your life, not just a new chapter. If you're feeling wary, cagey or apprehensive when you look at this card, that's normal. Trust your inner voice, listen to your instinctive, inquisitive nature!
We each have an inner ancestor inside us, but we don't often listen to them. We prefer the louder voices of our ego's or acting on our immature emotional intelligence. The Ancestor asks that you remove the immaturity of the emotional intelligence and apply it to your life like the strong, patience and wise person I believe we're trying to return to. Let her lead you to the forest with new eyes and a happier, wiser heart.
On the morning of the EU Referendum, before I voted, I drew 3 cards.
These 3 cards didn't have a positional meaning (I know, bad me!) but they told the story of something deeper. Come, join me, if you haven't had enough of the EU Brexit nonsense already.
The ramifications of the EU Referendum results are not really going to be felt for a while, months, if not a year or two (or longer). On the morning of the vote itself, I was still undecided. I could see arguments for and against, such as:
- not wanting to be ruled by those we haven't elected
- spending money on the EU when we can't pay doctors and nurses
- other Nationals coming the country who we have to give benefits to, who aren't working for or in the Country (and kudos to those that are and do!)
- Wishing to remain part of a multinational society
- military backing in case Trumpy Pants ( my kinder nickname for the mangled apricot hell beast) wins in the USA
- a coming together of nationals and society
- stay to reign in the current Government who seemingly want to destroy us even more than they did when Thatcher was in charge
What did my trusted, faithful companion, The Wildwood have to offer for me?
The EU Referendum Vote from The Wildwood, taken 23rd June 2016
The first was the 9 of Vessels, hinting at being generous. Some will argue that we can't afford it, we're broke. If we vote to stay, we should be able to negotiate some new conditions on the issues that bother us. I say we're all human and in this cycle of life together. The Ace of Vessels hints that there are new emotional times ahead. I honestly didn't think that the vote would go as it did (to leave), I really thought that "Stay" had it in the bag. The Ace hints that there's a lot of new, raw and not quite yet understood emotions running around. Yeah, now I get that! The Ancestor says: "We've been here before. We did it before. We can do it again". I have to think, have we? Well, yes, the two World Wars.
When the fighting was done and the soldiers returned home, just what exactly do you think were they coming home too? Where the other Nations had bombed their home, we'd bombed theirs, we had freed people from imaginable horror... and yet, in spite of all that, here we are. Arguing amongst ourselves, again. Working out what's best for us, again. The Referendum was democracy in action. Like it or not, the results are in. Now it's time to get on with the results.
"Make Britain Great," the Leave campaign said. Great, when, exactly? Please do tell me. I feel history is repeating itself. We've no coal industry to sell off. We've hardly an NHS (that SO needs saving!) the other national treasures have been plundered (thanks to the previous Governments, blue mostly) so let's look at what have we got left.
We have at our disposal, the same resources we had at the end of WW2. Gut, determination, wisdom and sheer dumb luck. Do you know what? We have to make our own luck. So, here's some Ancestral advice. Instead of whinging that something isn't going your way, go and find another way. Get off your arse and make it happen. Some way, somehow. Where's the Bull Dog spirit the Brits are supposed to have? Let's display some true grit! I'm not seeing it, though; what I am seeing is the spoilt nature of "I want it NOW, for nothing" coming through. This isn't a song (Dire Straits, Money for Nothin') We're over that, people, it's time to roll up your sleeves and get working for it, time to muck in.
The life you want isn't going to be handed to you on a damn plate so please, like our Grandparents and parents did, please get off your arse and come join in everyone who has to make a living in this World.
I've used The Wildwood and the ranting / thoughts are totally my own. The cards showed me the results before they were in, not how I should vote. I just couldn't see their meaning, until now.
The Ancient Ones can show us a way through, if you're prepared to listen to their wise old ways.
With the summer solstice finally hitting, the days being warmer and longer, I wish to take you on a path down through the Wildwood to meet the Ancestor.
The Ancestor is like Faith or The Hierophant, but it's so much more. Our grandparents may seem set in their ways (if yours are alive, great!) but being able to call on their sage advice when you need to is ace. What is it you need to put structure and thoughts around this week?
The ancestral view of our world is different to how we see it. They've lived through things we never hope to see again. History, though, has a way of repeating itself; mainly because of the lessons we mortals never seem to grasp, but so desperately need.
I then thought about those who have died, may have quickly (or finally) learned all that they needed to, so they no longer need to be on this mortal coil. They've ascended, become enlightened, transcended the classroom of life. They've graduated.
This is what I feel the Ancestors are trying to convey. They're sat in the observation lounge, watching, trying to shout through the glass to give us hints and tips. It is going to take us to look at them and read their signals, to understand the messages that they're wanting to convey.
You can work out what message from the old ones do you need to understand this week. What old structure can help you find your way in the depths of life? Those two Silver Birch trees are a gateway; this Ancestor is here to guide you through but the path you actually tread is your own. It's not predefined, it's not set in stone. You're being guided through life.
Father's Day, Litha, Full Moon, our British Astronaut comes home and goodness knows what else, all in the space of 48 hours.
Back on Mother's Day (UK time), I created this spread for our wonderful mum's. It can be used again for the dads and the male role models in our lives.
A father's love can be tough, the buck stop to children's inability to listen to their mother (who thinks she's now a broken record!) or the final (and a favourite) one of: "Wait until your father gets home!"
However, not all father's have iron hands: some have a good mix of a velvet glove and an iron hand, others have just the velvet glove. My Green Man has a good mixture of both, which I find useful and very helpful. From the spread, I know what I appreciate about my husband. I know the other two cards as well, but let's see what the Tarot thinks.
The Tarot Reading:
The King of Bows: What To Appreciate
I certainly appreciate the daddy's fire and passion. The kids do sometimes too. They know where they stand with him and what they can and cannot get away with. Now, I'm not exactly a push-over, but often, rather than screaming, I send them to their dad. They know what to expect from him! Often, them waiting for him to come home and speak with him, adds to their misery. That may seem cruel, but it gives them extra time to realise that they've overstepped my boundary.
4 of Bows : How Not To Show It
Letting them off anything, when they've been warned, isn't something he does. I'll relent a little when the three of them wear me down but he does not. So once they've been advised (warned) that's it. There's no fun once the punishment has been dished out. Sometimes, they can work or transition their punishment off. This may seem cruel, but they're slowly understanding the effects they have on others. Even the little lady is getting wise to that now!
7 of Stones : How To Show It
He will sit them down and talk with them, making them understand what they've done and how much harder they've made it for poor old mum (yes, sometimes, I've been in tears from their antics) and he makes them sit down and think about their results. He gives them a chance to think, to heal and reflect on the consequences of their actions. Because he makes them do that, things get easier as they get older and the eldest's example is helping the younger two.
So this Lithia, let's celebrate the wonderful fathers in our lives, whether you're able to hug them or not. I walked past several memorial benches in my local park this wet Lithia, some had bunches of flowers on them, clearly still in the memories of those left behind. Some did not, and I like to think that they were remembered in other ways, privately. Now, if Mother Nature could kindly turn off the sprinklers (which seem to be set to drench!) and turn up the external thermostat, that would be fabulous!
I'm glad I finally get to share with you the dynamics of our little family. I doubt I'll share them again soon because family is private, isn't it? 😉
I've used The Wildwood Tarot for the cards and spreads, which I designed and in addition, I give you permission to use the spread if you so wish.
The consort to the Green Woman, The Green Man is our next card. What is he all about?
There are female and male energies all around us. Look around you? Can you see the difference, just in the people standing next to you?Do you notice the difference in the people you talk with?
The Green Man shows up a lot more than people realise. He is certainly far more celebrated than his consort, the Green Woman. I've not yet seen a Green Woman wall plaque for the garden, but I do have a Green Man one. At this time of year, his influence is not as strong as it is in the winter. Without him, the abundance of the flora and fauna we see around us, just would not be possible. It takes two different genders of the same species to procreate, though thankfully, the women do not always carry the babies. (I'm thinking sea-horses. Is there another species have babies that aren't laid or produced by the girls?)
This is a Major card, so he doesn't just show up as a person in your life. He could be a situation that is intense but empty (look at his cauldron compared to the Green Woman's) I never thought of his cauldron as being empty and the book (page 44) says that his cauldron holds the materials of thriving and regenerating nature. Indeed, there are bubbles in this cauldron, but this potion is not ready yet. I guess that is why the liquid is clear.
Using his energy, do you notice the difference in the people you talk with of late? I've noticed a change in attitude, some of it really aggressive (Orlando being a very sad example of this) and a breakdown of boundaries. People aren't accepting the word "No" as a final answer.
The Green Man is capable of bestowing his fertile energy and he can bring you to a new level of confident and assertive dynamism (p45). Personally, I work better with this energy than I do of his consort. I can be a bitter pill for some to take: a little like Marmite. You either love me or hate me. However, you have a choice in how you deal with that hate. Be an adult. Enjoy being an adult, it's time to make it an experience to remember!