Why Won’t They Apologise ?

This week, I address another question from my wonderful readers.  Why won’t they apologise?

Being sorry, saying it, acting it, isn’t always easy. Sometimes, you have to utter that small, important word, to start making things right again.

Sorry, has to be one of the smallest words in the dictionary that is the hardest to say. Not the word “No”. That’s more powerful but far easier to say than this five letter contribution. Even my daughter had the word “no” down to pat at two years old. I went and had a little Google search for the history of this word and it seems to come from the Dutch. Typical English, it can’t claim it as its own! (That’s the beauty of the English language, it can absorb cool words from other languages, look up havering, as an example.)

It comes from and can highlight a lot of things; it can show that there’s something wrong that needs fixing and we’re not talking about a burst pipe here. The “something wrong” could be someone’s feelings or their ego. It could also be that something has happened that is beyond their control and to feel empathy, the word sorry or “I apologise” is said in a heartfelt way. The word sorry (and variants) are used in so many ways, some sincerely, others not so much. It’s sometimes served up as a platitude.

What do the cards say about why won’t they apologise? Here’s the storyboard I created for this question:

  • What’s stopping them?
  • What do I need to avoid doing?
  • What do I need to do?

The Interpretation

What’s stopping them? The Stag. When I look at this, I see a mixture of pride and a belief that they’re actually right. Of course, that depends on their perspective, and there’s often more than one right answer, depending where you’re looking at the situation from. They don’t feel they are the ones that need to offer an apology, in fact, they may believe that you’ll come around to their way of thinking. Eventually.

What do I need to avoid doing? The Lynx likes to observe and listen, but it can be done in such a way that makes people uncomfortable. I feel that the advice here is to just walk away, give them time and not wait for a response or a platform to allow them to continue their train of thoughts. You may turn into a skeleton before they apologise.

What do I need to do? Be generous! Does it really matter if they say sorry? If they don’t then it says more about them than you. Consider the possibility that the apology needs to be two ways, with someone offering the olive branch first. Be generous to yourself too. Not everyone has such a generous, deep heart as yours.

So my insights (late as they are) come to an end. I hope this spread is of help to you and if you see something in the cards I don’t, leave a comment, I love seeing new and different perspectives! With blessings

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The deck I’ve used is the Wildwood. The question has come from Twitter and the interpretations are from my own experiences. Private consultations are available to book here.

What Did I Do Wrong : The Tarot Answers

From the list of questions for the Sunday Blog post; What Did I Do Wrong?

This is a question I know that we adults (often parents) ask ourselves semi-regularly,  but when things do not go as planned,  we look to ourselves and others for an explanation.  So,  what did I do wrong?

The question itself isn’t the best.  It assigns blame, which isn’t always a healthy thing to dish out to anyone,  especially ourselves. Beverley Knight sang it well,  with “Shoulda, woulda, coulda” (though you’re not a Fool). What you should have done, would have done and could have done are all questions in hindsight,  but they don’t assign self-blame, or blame anyone.  Opportunities are missed all the time, its human nature to not take a path or to go our own way.

With Ms Knight’s song in mind,  here’s a little spread for you,  to work out your mind on whatever it is that bothers you. Let’s take a step forward from last week’s Guest Blog post. What could you have done differently?

wrong - Shoulda woulda coulda

shoulda

Shoulda –  what should have been done – The Sun of Life
What a pain to have such a positive card come up for this? This does happen in the Tarot, frequently. That’s where having a good Tarot reader, with ethics and experience, are essential. There are plenty of us around!

As for the should have? Well, this reads for me as you should have been genuine to your higher self, not your ego, not your demands or ambition. So, you should have set that aside and been true to yourself. You’ve stifled your inner power, not shone brightly enough or allowed others to shine too. Did you help someone up, or put them down? Did you help them focus on their dreams? Did you ask for their help with your dreams?

wouldaWoulda – what would have been good – The Journey

Well, the Journey came out on this one. This card is all about change, adapting. It would have been good if you’d allow the change to happen, instead of fighting it. It would have been good if you or the other person didn’t let things rot away and took the chance, the opportunity.

It would’ve also been nice if some sharing had occurred. Look at this crow; he doesn’t look like he’s shared that carcass! Is it wrong that he didn’t share?

Coulda – what could have have been done – Knight of Bows ~ Fox

couldaHere’s the cunning in the tail: the Knight is a cunning person, someone who can and does adapt and change plans in a heartbeat. They think on their feet in the heat of the moment.

This card is saying that reaction, or doing something, may have been better than doing nothing at all. Reacting and acting, may have saved you from some of the hurt, or caused more. We don’t really know what it would have done for you, had you gone the other way. It was just something you could have done.

So, there you have it. In this case, it’s saying that you’re not “wrong” my dear, there was no set right way. You’re just sadly out of time to work it all out! As happens to us all at certain times in our lives. We don’t have time infinite to work it all out, which is another reason I believe our souls come back to this mortal coil. To work more stuff out.

I’ve used The Wildwood for this spread, which I designed (Please feel free to use it, I’ll post it up on TA and on its own via Twitter or G+ if people ask!) and the interpretations are my own too, based on the cards that have come out. I tend to create my own spreads for consultations I’m engaged with.

Energies During a New Moon

Energies rise and fall. We can sense them more at the New Moon. Which way will they fall for you?

Finding your feet and keeping them grounded when your energies want you to fly, can be tricky. With the broom at the ready, what does this New Moon have to share with us all? If you’d like to find out, let me know.

I know that this month’s Full Moon is in Taurus. To me, this Sun Sign is stubborn, lazy, self-indulgent, hot-headed, temperamental, possessive. They can, however, be the most helpful and loyal of family members, staunch friends, great advisors and frugal. They’re dependable, generous, down to Earth. I designed this little spread with the question: What do I need to know about my Lunar energies this Full Moon?

energies

The first card drawn doesn’t matter, they’re read in a circle, for there is no light without shadow and there is no bright light without understanding the darkness. Lay your cards out any way you wish.  New Moon Spreads tend to last for about 2 or 4 weeks, depending on when the next Full Moon & New Moon hit. This is a long time to be stubborn!

Here’s what The Wildwood offered for this Taurus New Moon Spread.

earthNegative Energy To Release : The Onyx, Page of Stones.
This might be a strange one, but since the Lynx doesn’t and can’t actually speak, this suddenly becomes quite easy to understand. No more can you sit in the shadows and do nothing. Something has to be said and keeping silent isn’t going to help. Something has to be said, though it may not amount to much. When they (The establishment) come for you, who will speak up then? Release the silence, let them hear your roar. Be stubborn, be the bull in a china shop, cause havoc, make people think. For only by doing that, will a true and informed decision come to light.

energiesPositive Energy to Utilize : The Ancestor
There’s wisdom within us that we do not understand or comprehend. It’s there, guiding us. Call it intuition, our drive, Vulcan logic or something else, there’s the ancient wisdom passed down as it pulses through our veins.

We should tap into it, like the snows that fall, melt, vanish and fall again, it comes back to us again and again. What does your deep intuitive self, say when you meditate on this image? It’s the beat of that ancient drum in your veins that you need to listen to.

It’s time to pass through the gateway of the Silver Birch trees and connect with the elder wisdom within us. Please leave your emotional baggage at the gateway, you won’t be needing it where you’re going in this card. It will only take longer to talk with this lady if you wish to try to take that nonsense with you.

Dancing energiesGrounding Energy : 5 of Vessels ~ Ecstasy
This is an unusual card to have as the base card. It took me the time to write the other two to work out what this one was on about. It’s about being happy! And going through the motions. It’s about dancing through life rather than crying and whilst you’re dancing, you may as well do something useful, like dance a spell.

This is a card I relate to Buffy, The Vampire Slayer. Going through the motions. Nothing seems to penetrate your heart, but you can’t sit back and wait for the feelings to come back to you, you still have to get up in the mornings, go to work, school, food shop, feed the kids, walk the dog, scoop the poop (bet you never thought I’d say that on this blog!)

Well, once you get going, you often forget to be miserable or forget why you’re doing what you’re doing.

There’s always a catch, though: Try playing a Taurus at their own game! See how far that gets you. If of course, you want to play their game at all. It might be wiser to just forget that and find something else to spend your energies on.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this New Moon Blog Post, I look forward to catching you soon!

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Tarot Blog Hop : May I?

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May I please present to you, my entry to the Tarot Blog Hop? Thank you!

Welcome to blog hop entry, especially if you’ve hopped on over from Chloe’s blog. Karen Sealey, our esteemed wrangler for this Hop, wanted us to play on the word “May”, as we’re posting this up on the first of the fifth month. She’s something of a laureate with a waterfall of words and is far better than I am at using them. If there was a competition for word structure and playing with words (Countdown style) I think she’d win it. There are several others who are good like that in our Tarot community too. I envy their ability to understand the structure of our language better than I.

permissionHowever, may I be grateful for being able to make myself understood? I think I may! (See, playing within the remit there!) What tarot card shows you the “May I?”  question, more than any? “May I” is asking for permission. Sometimes, we don’t need it, but we seek it anyway and get upset when we’re not granted it. Well, duh, why ask for it if we know we’re going to be denied it?

The first card I picked out was the Five of Bows. This giant isn’t asking for permission, he’s not saying the other side of may either. He’s creating his own permission, is own empowerment.

I think it’s Rule #18 from Leroy Jethro Gibbs, NCIS, which says: It’s better to ask forgiveness than to get permission. May I be forgiven for that one?

What else, can the word relate to, if not just for permission? It can offer one of help too. “May I get that for you?” is another, asking for permission and offering help, both at the same time.

Six of Stones

Help comes in many forms, but we so often use the word “Can” in today’s vocabulary. However, it’s all the same when you come down to it. There’s a want, a need, a desire somewhere and we want permission to go for it, reach for it, try it. We don’t want to hear that we can’t, we want to hear that we can. That we may try.

The other image that came to mind was the more traditional 6 of Pentacles, but here again, we see the beggars holding out for more, asking, may they? When they’ve done nothing to help themselves in the first instances. How reliant are we on the permission of others? Why do we seek that permission if it’s going to make us miserable? Why do we rely on others rather than just doing things ourselves?

Major-6-The-Forest-LoversTake a busy family, mum, dad, kids; a little like mine. If the kids didn’t ask permission to eat certain foods at various times, they’d never eat what I cooked for them, or eat with the rest of the family. If they didn’t ask for permission to do something, they’d miss out on family activities, or get hurt. I don’t want them to get hurt. Communication is the key thing when using the word “May”. Permission is sometimes needed.

There is, at this time of year, there was often the biggest question in the minds of Pagan folks. The ultimate permission giver we all seek, are afraid of and at times, are glad we did undertake the biggest adventure of our lives. May I spend the rest of my life with you, please?

That by far has been the biggest and best adventure I’ve ever been on. What has yours been?

So, now I’ve bamboozled you with my limited wordsmith abilities, how about you hop on over to read Joanne’s laureate take on this whole word-play thing. Now, she’s a clever lady who may enlighten you further.

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Thank You For Being A Friend

Thank you for being a friend, says I.

Who are your friends? What do you expect of them? What do they expect of you? My 78 friends of The Wildwood are there to help me and with them, I can help you.

Friends are a miracle of human existence. We can get along perfectly well with one person or a specific group, then wish to harm the next that we encounter.

It’s amazing that we are the dominant species on the planet, given that we’re able to hurt and main one another for holding this belief or that belief. I really don’t think religion comes into being a decent human being. Before the Romans, before Christianity, how did we live? Probably the same way we do now. We fought to survive, we created communities so we could aid one another. We found a strength in numbers.

friendThese two anthropomorphic beings have found an attraction to each other, through ask the diversity and strife of life. It’s said that Zeus split our hearts in two, so that we were weaker. As a whole inside the same body, we were too strong. Not quite sure I believe that, but I’m willing to accept that somewhere along the line, we got complacent and without the challenge and strife, we’d wither away. (Queue your Firefly – Serenity story line here.)

We strive on. We carry on and with the help of friends, we get through. There are SO many great songs (Little Help From My Friends (The Wonder Years), Thank You For Being A Friend (Golden Girls)) that could be linked to this card: I only picked two to get you going! What other songs can you connect / link to this card? Comment below, let me know!

This card’s message is saying: Connect as a friend first and foremost. Remember to be a friend to yourself first too! Being a friend to your partner, as well as their lover, can be of a great help.

With many blessings,

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Isn’t It A Struggle….

Going onwards, when you really don’t want to, says more about you than words can ever convey, or that I can write in a blog.

We’re at the time of the Eight of Arrows, continuing our struggle onwards through life. I’ve 78 friends to call on, you have me, when you’re ready.

We all have struggles in life. Some, we see in people who struggle with something physical, a broken arm or leg, a limp or one hand. Most of the time though, we don’t see the burdens that others carry within themselves. We never know what stresses or struggles they are carrying.

Eight of Arrows ~ StruggleI’ve been reading Alison Cross’ brilliant book on Kindle about A Year in The Wildwood (Yes, my favourite deck, my deck) and this is the card that is associated with this point in the year. It’s no great leap for me to hear this song in my head when I draw this card (Clannad, Struggle from their Banba album*) and it is of course, through Mark playing Clannad on a shoot for the Robin of Sherwood that drew that band to that TV show, that drew Mark to my eyes and this deck as a result. It’s all connected and not through 6 degrees! (More like 2 and a very small circle 😉 )

But I digress, slightly. Mark puts this card at this point of the year. The Aries New Moon that happens at this time of year (tonight, as it happens) is often a struggle, as we astrologically change from the floaty waters of Pisces to the passionate Fire sign of Aries.

We can still help ourselves though. As it’s noted in Alison’s book (Page 42) the lantern this lady carries can light our way, as it lights hers. She’s not totally without clothes and support (the staff & lantern) though what she wants to do is thwarted by the wind and the struggle is more uphill than plain sailing right now.

This card reminds us to dig deep. We can do this. You can do this. Yes, you can! I spent four days in Vienna, a gaming weekend away with a girl-friend. It was peaceful, well deserved and fun! (22k of steps, 4 days on the trot!) but I missed my kids and I was keen and glad to be home. I had the tools to survive and they all got the chance to develop some of theirs too: Bonus!

You too have the tools to survive, to struggle through. They’re close at hand, so dig deep, and keep putting one foot before the other.

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*I can’t find the You Tube Video with that song on it, it got withdrawn. All I could find were the lyrics, I’m sorry.

Dancing Towards New Times

What might you be dancing towards, this Valentines week?

Dancing towards a new life, taking care of your responsibilities along the way, is what The Wildwood advises this week. Doing that with my help is possible.

DancingThe Wildwood isn’t being humorous or funny this week, it’s being very direct and honest. Typical Wildwood! Dancing through life is like baby steps, you keep moving, slowly, in the general direction you want or need to go. Sometimes, you take a break and take the time to not be dizzy, but not always.

When I pulled these cards, I had just separated the boys from squabbling over Minecraft. Can someone take me away from all this, right now? (haha!) Looks like their squabbling is what I’m going to be dancing through this week!

responsibilityWhen I got back to my sofa seat, this was the thought I had: Dance your way through this week, take care of the important stuff and begin the next chapter, mentally afresh and without the drag of the past.

How often are we unable or unwilling to start something new, because we have the past dragging us back? It’s hard to feel happy when you can’t move on from the past. The Centre card is the key to this little storyboard. The other two pivot and dance around it, taking the responsibility it represents, seriously.

New StartsIf you look closely, this fellow is near the top of the hill, finishing off his climb. The fire burns at the top of the mountain, where a few houses or shacks sit. He’s nearly there, he’s nearly completed his task. He just needs to take a few more steps, finish off the details, cross the finishing line.

The last card, the Ace, is all about starting anew. There’s something to be said about one’s health when things are finished, the responsibilities are complete. The burden and weight of it, are all over and done with, so you can start again with a clear head and focus on what direction you’re going in now.

How wonderful that the story this week is to “Dance to your new beginnings, taking care of your final responsibilities along the way“. I learned after originally posting this that “It is the Chinese New Year as well as Lunar Imbolc, with a New Moon in Aquarius. The energy of the day facilitates major life changes.” Amazing how the cards join in with Astrology. Thanks to Lisa Eddy for the astrology info!

Thanks also to you,  for joining me. I’d love to hear what changes you’re dancing through this week!